Common sense isn't common--and hasn't been for--oh, way before the presidential candidates started stumping for votes (which was when? about 3 years ago?) Drivers decide to turn right in front of you, with no warning signals, because they always turn at that corner at that same time every Tuesday and Thursday, idiot!  And they ALWAYS seem to be driving a dirty car and have a tendency to drift out of their lane and are always nodding their heads and talking  to the chimpanzee in the passenger seat ('cause you never actually SEE anyone)  and if you honk at them--you get this totally uncomprehending look and the word (it looks like) that relegates you to being a female canine!  Why is it MY problem?  They're the ones with the chimp and the bad manners and the broken turn indicator! 

Now, you and I both know, dear and well-brought-up readers, that a gentle tap on the horn, using only the index finger of the right hand, is what's called for. Yeah, well, I use my whole fist! I have not, SO FAR, used the third finger--nor yelled anything insulting their parentage--but I wish they'd watch their sudden turns and if that's too much trouble, let the chimp drive!  Another time, we'll discuss being behind somebody, in front of you in the Express Lane, who has enough food items to supply a troop ship and are usually accompanied by 3 children who climb on my cart to see if there's something in there they might like! 

As I said, "another time" I need time to collect myself for a column which is called "Fiction"(meaning not related to facts) and what I'm going to do is Fiction. Let me put in "a plug" for out Poetry Contest, held annually, with the following info--poems are to be here, at the library, no later than April 14 by 8:00p.m.--two copies of each poem with your contact info on only one of the pages, and you have three categories i.e. children, young adult (12 yrs. to 17 yrs.) and adult.

This is a juried contest, meaning there are judges who have experience in the field of writing poems and teaching it, and there are cash prizes for the top three places in each category. Our fun and famous Coffeehouse is May 2, Friday, at the Coronado Museum at 6:45 p.m., with coffee and cookies, special guest readers, and the winners in all three categories will be announced then and their cash prizes awarded. Having it at the museum will be great fun and JoAnne Mansell, the director, says she will have some of the Dorothys there!  Please plan to come and even if you didn't enter a poem to be judged, come and read one of your favorites--just not a LONG one like Poe's "The Raven."

We will NOT be responsible for returning the poems, keep in mind, as it's far too much time for the staff to do along with their library duties. So, get busy and bring or send yours in to "Liberal Memorial Library, 519 N. Kansas, Liberal, KS, 67901" and a "good luck!" to every contestant. 

Now, where was I? (You can't have a graceful segue into the column EVERY TIME, Patty!) There's been a growing number of titles, in recent years, that have dealt with two themes--doctors and death/mysteries--that seem to interest a great many readers and "Anatomy of Deception; A Novel of Suspense", by Lawrence Goldstone, fits the description. Consider; it is a forensic thriller set in 1889, and a young doctor, Ephraim Carroll, has come to Philadelphia to study with one of the noted doctor/professors of the time, William Osler (he was an actual person) in order to help people.  Now, in this era, "America hurtles towards a new century, medicine is changing rapidly, in part due to the legalization of autopsy--which was a crime only a few years previously."  He and Osler had, earlier, looked into a coffin where a young woman's body lay--and one of the other surgeons who had seen the body, says he knows who she is and what caused her death. But Carroll and Osler disagree among themselves on what they had seen.

Then, a second death occurs and it is seen as a deliberate murder. As he, Carroll, plows on to find the reasons, a beautiful woman seems to be interfering, an artist, Eakins, is spreading scandal and rumors and he's learning secrets about this nation's powerful surgeons--all of which is bringing Carroll to the point of realizing if he uncovers a killer, this choice may bring about the downfall of medicine itself. It's written in first person, the character and motives of the principal players are a little bit transparent but the story itself rolls along nicely.  LIke to fill a few hours on these last-of-Winter days? Come in and check out this story.

My next author, Peter May, is the only Western writer who is an honorary member of the Chinese Crime Writer's Assoc. and lives in France. HIs book is "The Killing Room" and it brings together, for the third time, the team of Beijing Det. Li Yan and American pathologist Margaret Campbell for a third crime solving puzzler. The bodies of 18 dismembered women are found in a mass grave in Shanghai and DEt. Li is "sent to establish if the corpses are related to an unsolved murder in Beijing, and he finds the most horrifying catalog of killings ever uncovered in the Middle Kingdom."  We also have, unfolding in the story, the concern of Margaret's if working with the det. will hinder or unravel their relationship. 

She has just buried her father and she feels her rival, Mei-Ling, who was born in the Year of the Tiger and seems to have her "claws" into Li and, AND--how is she supposed to compete with someone who is deputy head of Shanghai's "Serious Crime Squad"? Anyway, the three of them begin to realize that  these women were cut/disfigured before they were killed and this killer was a monster. What this knowledge does to all of them, as they take up the chase, and what demons do they face personally is the secondary theme. THis book certainly has some violent themes in it so if you're looking for a quiet "cozy", as they call quiet, gentle, humorous themes, this one is not it. Come and read a little bit of it and see what you think.

The wonderful Lisa Scottoline is back with a new mystery! She teaches Fiction and  Justice at the Univ. of Pennsylvania Law School--I think they're compatible--and has written 14 novels plus winning the Edgar Award by the Mystery Writers of America. Her new one is "Lady Killer" and involves "a trademark Lisa Scottoline heroine--she's strong, she's smart, and she's got plenty of attitude."  Mary's employed at Rosato and Associates and while her life seems to be running along pretty smoothly, into her office comes--on REALLY HIGH stilettos--the former classmate and rival, Trish Gambone. With, naturally, a problem, with, naturally, a man involved who (you can see this one coming) Mary had a crush on during their high school days. Trish is terrified of this man, who's now a gun-toting drug dealer for the South Philly mob.

Mary is trying to assimilate all this and then, later' Trish goes missing, Mary finds her, and Trish pulls a gun on her and says she won't go back, and then--come check out the book and find out.  Scottoline is almost flawless in keeping dialogue going and keeping you going, in belief, from one theory to another as to who's the killer. Quite a surprise at the end!  You'll love this story and it will keep you turning pages and staying up nights.It's on our New York Times Bestseller rack and if it's not available when you come to get it, ask the desk to "flag" your card for telling you when it does come in!. 

So, dear and gentle readers, "the time has come" to go onto other tasks and pleasures and looking forward to more sunshine, watching the golfers--and trying to stay out of their way whilst out for a walk along the perimeter of the golf course--and looking forward, more and more to giving a deserving shelter dog a home at the first of April.  It'll be good for my half-mine Manny and my dog to have each other to buddy with and exchange doggy views with!  Be gentle in your observations about your life, appreciate small things, and remember one of my favorite sayings--"It doesn't matter so much what you think of a man as what he thinks of himself!" Think of my pleasure every time you use your turn signal--particularly should you be in front of me!  Bye!